Life

There are so many people out there that feel the need to just vanish. I belong to those people. I teeter totter on that thin line. The thing that keeps me from falling is my family and friends. I don't know what I would do without them. However, these past two years I have had to face a truth that still scares me. My Opa is not in the best health. He keeps saying that he might die soon. He is a lot of pain and can't really walk anymore. He can get a surgery but his doctors said that he only had a 10% chance of survival if he got the surgery. I know death is a factor in life, but I don't want to lose anyone in my family. I'm not sure what I would do without them. They're the reason I'm still here. My Opa gave up his farm when my father died. He said that my sister and I needed a father figure. He stepped up, and gave up a lot. Then we were dragged to the USA. Far away from home, and we left behind a lot. My sister moved back home after she graduated, but I can't do that. I know my chances of success are better in the US. I get funding for school, and a lot of things. I know the language and laws better. I can write in English. But every time we go home it gets harder to get on that plane. It's this fear of knowing that maybe when I'm back that there will be one less person waiting for me. I love my family.